Somedays, someone shows you a new Guardians of the Galaxy trailer and you know not to ask who this person is or where s/he got it. Those are good days to be a comic book geek and - you lucky readers you - a good day for a guy to use his words to describe something he can’t legally show you.
I’ve already gotten in trouble once for people thinking I had actually stolen content, so let me reiterate how much I do NOT have this trailer. Ok. Onto the notes I managed to scribble on down, translated into sentences, because no one wants to see my chicken scratch.
Shots of Star Lord in his mask, full outfit, probably from the opening we’ve seen since early on. “My name is Peter Quill” says Chris Pratt over a nice hero shot, then we cut back to Dijimon Hounsou as Korath the Pursuer and two of his soldiers pointing guns directly at the camera. “But there’s one other name you might know me by...Star Lord.”
Replay of the “Who?”/”Come on, man, Star Lord” scene you’ve already learned to love. Quill gives up, saying “Forget it,” then Korath shoots at him. Quill falls backwards, dodging the shot that explodes the back wall of the chamber they're in. Without getting up, Quill hits his rocket boots and shoots out into the wilderness, escaping.
Some quick shots of Star Lord being chased through a blue-ish, rocky planet with his mask on as Korath and his men chase him, shooting. Star Lord takes a huge space-leap and we speed ramp down until-
Things speed up here and there’s lot’s of new stuff, so I’ll try to get as much as possible, but - wow, this movie looks bigger and better all the time.
Star Lord’s ship, the Milano, speeds towards a barren looking planet. We cut to the Guardians walking through some sort of space-port or bar with Zoe Saldana’s Gamorra in the lead. Peter Quill voice overs:
“So here we are: A thief” - Star Lord stands in front of a cloud outside and tosses the ORB into the air and catches it. It looks like part of the movie where the MacGuffin chase favors the Guardians.
“Two Criminals” - Rocket Racoon hefts what looks like a four-barrell rocket launcher, cocks it and aims it through the site. Groot throws a puny humanoid.
“An Assassin” - Gamora turns, looking hot and green, then we see a quick cut of her fighting who I hope to be Nebula (Karen Gillian).
“And a maniac” - Hello DRAX! Push in on David Bautista from the shoulders up, full make-up, scowling as something explodes behind him. Quick cut of Drax doing a mid-air punch on someone, cut of Drax head-butting a dude.
“But we’re not going to stand by while evil wipes out the galaxy.” Shot of Ronan the Accuser’s ship. Shot of a hooded Lee Pace as Ronin walking towards the camera. Close up shot of someone’s fist closing around a glowing red energy source. The fist suddenly CLENCHES and we cut to an exterior explosion and a crowd of aliens and humanoids running from it (from back when they shot on the Millennium bridge for all to see, it looks like).
The voiceover meets the scene the lines are from as Quill adresses everyone inside the Milano. “I guess we’re stuck together- ” We see a shot of Drax holding the Orb/Macguffin - “Partners.”
Title: THIS AUGUST
Glenn Close’s Nova Prime Rael takes the next line over a shot of a ship descending over a lush planet with a pattern of rivers and streets that looks vaguely like a compass rose. Probably the Nova Corps planet? As Close is still talking, we also see Ronan kneeling in the center of a circular stone pattern with his hammer resting on the floor beside him: “Are you telling me, the fate of 12 billion people, is in the hands of these thugs?”
We see Glenn Close looking pissed in a meeting with some uniformed Nova Corps behind her, elsewhere Ronan stands and raises his hammer high into the air, Ronan’s ship releases tons of fighters over the lush planet, people run from explosions, Ronan is attacking this populace.
An iris-styled door in a spaceship opens and the Guardians stride out, confidently. Close on Rocket as he cocks a gun that is the same size he is. We push in on his face and BRADLEY COOPER’S VOICE COMES OUT: “Oh…..yeah!” Rocket loves his big gun.
Smash cut to the shot of Rocket firing off Groot’s shoulder in the prison that we’ve already seen. A new close up of a snarling Rocket as he blasts something. Gamora, in her prison yellows, jumps and kicks a guy with both feet, landing in the “Black Widow landing pose where you flip your hair back when you look up.” Peter Quill draws both his pistols at once and fires into the camera.
Norman Greenbaum’s “Spirit In the Sky” starts to add the “Hooked on a Feeling” pace to the edit.
Quill, Gamora, Drax and Rocket - all in prison yellows, but Rocket and Quill have guns, so obviously towards the end of their escape strike a nonchalant pose as Groot JUMPS from another level and lands behind them, completing the misfit hero shot. A shot of Quill hitting someone, a shot of the Milano in colorful, magnificent fantasy space. They’re flying towards an Alien Skull the size of a PLANET.
We see the Guardians in the cockpit looking out at the planet-head and Rocket says: “Whoa,” genuinely impressed.
Title: START SOMEWHERE
Groot fights something his own size, but it doesn’t seem to matter, because Groot grabs this alien BY HIS HEAD with a single palm, picks him up, then slams his back down against the ground.
Ronan twists his hammer and it fires blue energy like Korath’s weapons in the beginning. Drax brandishes two curved blades. Another EXPLOSION - but this one is more wonderous.
Remember in John Carter when they got that cave to magically show them the universe or whatever (or the scene in Prometheus where Michael Fassbender looks at planet Earth on the 3D Map)? We get a shot like that of all the Guardians looking up at floating points of yellow light that could be a star-system map. Groot’s left hand is raised in the air and a lot of the yellow dots seem to be amassing around the end of it. It looks really cool and I have no idea what’s happening.
Chris Pratt again: “I look around, and you know what I see? Losers” Shots of the Guardians sitting around the Milano, not liking being called losers. “-But life is giving us a chance.”
Star Lord straps something that looks like a rocket to his leg and puts on his long coat in heroic motions cut to the beat of the song.
Drax asks: “To do what?”
Quill: “Something good…”
An ADORABLE shot of Groot gently giving a white flower to a girl who smiles at him. Gamora and Drax put their respective sharp weapons in their hip holsters.
“...something bad…” A topless Gamora from behind. Quill puts his shirt on.
Quill in the cockpit of the Milano: “...bit-o-both.”
Then more Rocket: “I don’t like the h----- order on that model ------ anyway.” I’m sure this will be really funny, but right now it’s very improperly mixed. The ------ parts were garbled.
Quick cut to raging Drax swinging his knife in slow motion. Cut to a badass shot where Nebula gets right up in Gamora’s face and looms over her. Cut: there’s a HUGE explosion and something is flying out of it right towards the camera. That something gets closer and it’s a little space-ship, that ship gets closer and we see Rocket piloting it, SNEERING WITH MALICE.
Quick cut time:
Cut to a shot of Ronan, with his hammer in one hand and choking Drax with the other, Beneicio Del Toro’s Collector in front of a orange background, Quill leans into Gamora for a kiss, Drax shakes both his blades above his head as we see him face a sky full of oncoming bad-guy ships. A pan around Groot. Gamora screams and reaches out for someone’s hand-----!
Music cuts out.
Close on a tape deck as a woody- finger presses play on the cassette.
Reverse to see a curious Groot, all alone in this room on the Milano. His eyes go wide as the cassette spins up. Groot leans in, curious, then “Hooked on a Feeling” suddenly starts, causing Groot to recoil in surprise. Groot looks SO CONFUSED.
Title: CHRIS PRATT
Hero shot you've seen.
Title: ZOE SALDANA
Hero shot you've seen.
Hero shot you've seen.
FEATURING VIN DIESEL AS GROOT
Shot of Groot, who suddenly grows branches on his back like some sort of wood porcupine. Then a shot of Drax looking at Groot who SAYS!!!!!!!! “I’m Groot.” Sounds great. It’s gentle and it’s hard to tell if he’s saying “I am” or “I’m” or some hybrid of both, but - you guys - this is going to work. Groot expresses emotion wonderfully.
EDIT - I want to clarify that Groot says "I AM GROOT" that is all Groot can say, but the delivery of it is nuanced, that's what I was inelegantly trying to convey - l
Oh yeah, and the other great CG character…
BRADLEY COOPER AS ROCKET
Rocket in his prison yellows: ‘I’m just gettin’ started!” Cut to him walking down a corridor with the rest of the Guardians, holding a huge gun and adjusting the fabric around his crotch. There’s certainly a little bulge. Rocket is a boy Raccoon.
Wider-shot of Rocket, Quill, Gamora and Drax. walking down that same corridor and John C Reilly’s Nova Corp voiceover comes in: “They call themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy...”
Music cuts out and we’re looking at John C Reilly in formal Nova Corps dress (more like Glenn Closes’ outfit, not the outfit he’s wearing in the line-up clip). Reilly: “This might not be the best idea.”
Back to that wide corridor shot, they’re walking towards us in slow motion and Groot rounds the corner from another part of the ship and joins the team in a forceful walk as we hear AHHHHHHHHHHHH-MMMMM HOOKED ON A FEELIN’!
Cut to the title. The beautiful, yellow, angular title.
Then Rocket goes “HAAAAAAAAAA!” from the cockpit of his ship and leans forward on the throttle as he BLASTS into an air battle against Ronan against blue sky.
No idea when we’re gonna be seeing this new iteration, but the pairing of Peter Quill’s rock and roll with the charm of these bizarre characters just keeps looking better and better.
If the X-factors were Groot and Rocket, this trailer makes me think that Groot has been locked down as amazing and Rocket is being refined into a full Bradley Cooper character. Seriously, though, Groot is so good, guys, so good.
Now into my bunker so no one asks me how this all happened.