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EXCLUSIVE: 'Robocop' 2013 Script Review

– by Da7e

UPDATE: This video was made in reaction to the prevailing rumor that the new Robocop was a terrorist-fighting Transformer. It was written, animated and lovingly rendered by Dave "Da7e" Gonzales from publicly-available or self-produced material. It is the opinion of Latino Review's editorial staff that the video and corresponding text represents it's own work, only derivative of fandom. We have been contacted by Sony Pictures Entertainment and told that the plot under review is from a script they classify as proprietary and outdated.


'Robocop' represents violent 80s action like 'Jurassic Park' was a step forward in CGI creatures, it was a tale of a robot cop who didn’t give up on being human and could spin a gun that came out of his leg. It was a super-violent Paul Verhoeven film, one whose sequel he’d have to abandon to make the original 'Total Recall'.

We’re now in the business of absorbing MGM remakes and re-launches from 'Red Dawn', to Bond to - yes - 'Robocop.' What was originally a film for Darren Aronofsky in 2010 became a project finally greenlit for José Padilha to begin shooting as you’re reading this. Joel Kinnaman of TV's The Killing has been cast as our new Murphy with Gary Oldman as the scientist who creates Robocop and Michael Keaton as the CEO of Omnicorp the military defense-focused company.

I have reviewed another reboot for your pleasure, and it’s the entirety of 'Robocop', by newcomer Joshua Zetumer with revisions by Nick Schenk ('Gran Torino')! This one has had a little pre-buzz via Drew McWeeney from HitFix, a man I’ve been reading online since I found Aint It Cool in the 90s. He did not like it and expressed his frustration with the treatment of Robocop in a series of tweets which made me super-curious as a reader who values sci-fi storytelling over a faithful adaptation of the Robocop that was.

Some things are similar, some things are different, let’s take a look:

PLEASE NOTE: I’ve inserted Garrett Hedlund ('Tron Legacy') and Asa Butterfield ('Hugo') as characters even though they have not been cast in the new movie. Everyone else identified is at least in the movie, probably as who I say they are...if you trust IMDB. Everything else is from Google Image searches. Though the Omnicorp logos and the E-209 design are from the new film, everything else is fan art or old stills. I also pronounce "Vallon" as "Vallion..." but I think my way is cooler.

Here’s the verdict: it’s a possibly-positive mixed bag. What I can say is that Drew, with the best Robocop-fan intentions, might have sounded the alarm a little too early in this movie’s life. Things, especially science fiction things, can look really stupid on the page.

Where Paul Verhoven was a fan of echoing the vapid media back at us, this version is more content to just shine a light on how many viewers are tuning into the Robocop televised drama at any given time. It’s really hard to tell how these scenes are going to play as they are, in concept, a tone-less description of what we see. Also - we don’t really know what we’re going to see. Padilha’s 'Elite Squad' 1 & 2 credentials don’t give us the best idea of how he’s going to handle a movie with a lot of technical and mechanical elements.

I’m not saying this reboot blew my hair back like you’d want a R-rated hard 'Robocop' by Aronofsky to be, but since it’s not that movie anymore, I was pleasantly surprised to find a competent effort behind a PG-13 action film. I can not like the idea of it after the original was so incredibly violent, but this movie has a real ax to grind with anytime the first movie claimed to be not-silly. 'Robocop' 2013 thinks 'Robocop' 1.0 is stupid, and that’s actually the most insulting thing to a Robocop fan in these pages.

As for what type of movie it is going to be: I’m not as worried as I was when I was just going off some choice tweets. There’s a movie here, and it can be a good one if everyone makes the right decisions moving forward.

Let’s not write off half-man/half-robot/all-COP quite yet.

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